Isabel’s Story
Ravenswillow: A Sanctuary
A lot of people forget that everyone has their own issues. Many people describe me as happy, bubbly, optimistic and strong. When you meet someone for the first time you don’t ask what their journey was, how they got here, how they became who they were today. You don’t ask what they’ve been through. Teens are known to go with the crowd and close off emotions, for example, myself. I was never very popular and I always seemed to get along with teachers and adults more than people my own age. When I was asked “How are you today” I always responded with the most common answer: “Good you?” This was not accurate 75% of the time. I had a disappointing home life. Life at home was never easy and made coming to school and talking with friends very difficult. It took a long time to get where I am today. Trying to find anything to help me feel better mentally because I dug a deep hole and was afraid I couldn’t get out.
So many teens struggle through this all the time and I have, after 8 years of mental illness, found the best solution. I had started working with horses. I adored the feeling of getting on a horse and developing a connection with an animal that wasn’t a human. From these interactions, I extended my healing toward nature itself. Whether it’s taking a walk, gardening, or riding a horse I am overwhelmed with a sense of peace. It is one of my biggest goals in life to help teens in the same position feel comfortable and supported.
My mom has been one of the biggest impacts on my growth through the years. Not only has she been my biggest supporter, but she is now the owner of a nonprofit organization to help me achieve this specific goal. Through this organization, we work to use horses and a natural environment to help people of all ages deal with their past trauma and provide resources for mental wellness.
I believe one of the most important parts of this process is talking about it. Facing it head-on rather than pushing it deeper and deeper inside. The horses at the barn I’ve discovered are the best listeners. The way their ears perk up as you tell them your life story, having something to rant to, and I believe they understand you too. Surrounding yourself with Nature creates a comforting embrace and makes it a safer space to let those memories arise and deal with them in a smooth and simple way. Being able to talk to not only other people but to be able to sit with yourself without worrying about the thoughts overwhelming you. To use each one of the senses we as humans were blessed with to ground ourselves and connect to this earth we were put onto. At the barn, I take moments to just sit there and listen. Listen to my mom giving lessons, to the horses whinnying, to the breeze and the buzz of the insects. To ground myself in the soft grass and just listen to the earth we live on, to live in the moment.
A common question asked is “If you could go back and change something from the past, what would it be?” Although there are things I regret, things I wish I didn’t need to go through, and things I wish I never had to experience, they all put me where I am today. I am here. Right Now. If I hadn’t gone through everything I did at my dad's house, I wouldn't be here, be able to say I own horses, that I have a sanctuary. Because I got through it all. If people use this as their mindset, we will all be able to move forward, to get out of the quicksand of the past. To get away from our thoughts that try to drag us down. You can do it. You can get past it. Your past doesn’t define who you are. You do. Be in this moment, connect with the world around you, and I promise you will get better.
